Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Naughty message for friends giralfriend new funny sms

Naughty message for friends giralfriend new funny sms 

Boss to a lady during interview: What’s the difference between Paperclip and Screw?Lady: I don’t know, I have never been paperclipped.

Boss ki pant ke zip khuli thi  Secratry: Sir,ur garage door is open  BOSS: Did u c my BMW?  Sty:No sir,I saw a TATA NANO with 2 punctured tyres.

Bina SEX se pareshan biwi 1 rat “JAN-GAN-MAN” gane lagi.
 Pati:Ye kya kar rahi ho?  Biwi:last try hai,Ispe to pura hindustan khada ho jata hai….

Believe in love! Love has great power!
 It can “REMOVE”..
 shirts, jeans, skirt, top, T shirt etc..etc..

Baccha chest pe hath rakh k pencil uthane k liye jhuka  Baap:Chest pe hath q rkha?  Bacha-school me madam bina hath rakh k zuki to fefde bahar aa gaye uske…

BACHHAN (in KBC):  What is D common relation between Jaya & Aishwarya?   SARDAR(on hot seat): I think Nipples Of Both Were Sucked By Abhishek..

An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card

All the men have double standards. They hate cats but love pussies. And they don’t want to be seen riding a donkey but love to ride a good ass!

Americans fart and say—excuse me!
 Britishers fart and say—pardon me!
 Japanese fart and say—forgive me!
 Indians fart and say–not me!

Advice of a dentist: Treat your girl friend like a toothbrush. Dont let anybody else use it and get a new one every 3 months!

Accident takes a minute but sufferings last a lifetime. Plz wear Condom & Helmet on ur appropriate heads during Respective Driving.

A Woman Married A One Legged Man  She Wrote To Her Mother :  My Husband Has Only “ONE FOOT”
 Her Mother Replied :  You Are Lucky,  Your Papa Has Only “5 INCHES”:-P

A week back . .  Khalli complained to Big Boss that  he wasn’t getting enough milk to drink in the Big Boss house  &  Guess what ?  Big Boss sent Pamela !
 Join fr

A white man was on a safari in Africa, he saw a black man bathing in a river, the black man was very well endowed, in fact it was hanging below the knees, the white man stared in astonishment. The black man asked in anger: What’s the matter, does not the white man’s member shrink in cold water?

A very important message from God to all women: Lying under somebody in bed & screaming "OH GOD! OH GOD! MY GOD! OH GOD!" will not be considered as a Prayer…!!

A very Emotional line:  ” I want her Back…..  .  .  .  .
 .  .  .
 .  .  .
 .  .  .
 .  .  .
 . . . . . . . . . . . . . .And her Front too.!”;)

A Survey Report:Women who sleep on their sides are Sensitive.Who sleep on their stomach are Competent.Who sleep on their back with Legs in the air are MOST POPULAR!

A pros for nite: Rs 2000Hotel Room: Rs 3000Condoms: Rs 50Erection: SORRY!There r some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s Master Card!

A old woman calls the Police department and says: I have a Sex Maniac in my apartment. Pick him up in the morning!

A man raced into to the gents toilets in a pub, ran up to the urinal, whipped out his 12 inch dick & said with a sigh of relief: Phew, just made it!The man next to him, looked over & said: Pretty impressive, could you make me one too!

A man is a king. A king is a ruler. A ruler is 12 inches.Are you a man?”

A huge crowd in front of library just because of simple spelling mistake.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  Boobs Are Available On Rent.!

A just born baby was laughing hard with its tiny fingers closed. The confused Pediatrician unfolded his tiny fingers & found… A Birth Control pill !

A hillarious spelling mistake behind a truck, saying: Put deeper at night!

A great thinker once said,

 A Man with his tool in a woman’s mouth
 can also be a dentist!!
 God bless your dirty mind..

A Girl in her bedroom shouted  Ah  Ah  Ah  Ah  Ah  Ahh… haachhii !!  She’s sufferng frm cold..!!  .  .  .  .  Tumhe to bas non-veg posts ka chaska laga  hai..!!  sudhar jao sab k sab……

A girl askz pappu   Gril: Wo kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?   Pappu: legs   Girl: wo kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai or meri pant main nai hai?   pappu: paise   Girl : wo kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye raat ko   bistar pe karte hain?   Pappu : neend   Girl: Woh kia hai jo larki pehli dafa karwate hoe pain ki   waja se roti hai ?   Pappu: kaan main chaid(Hole)   Moral : aap bhi apni neeat(intention) pappu ki tarhan rakhain.

A famous prostitute died  Ppl wer confused regarding wat has 2 b writen on her grave.
 It ws l8r finalised n written,

A carrot married a cabbage.
 Next day buddy beet asked, hey how was your wedding night?

 Carrot: Man! What a hectic night! I am exhausted!  I spent my whole night just undressing her!

6 new facts of life:   a. If necessity is the mother of invention den frustration is the fathr of masturbation   b. Always marry a woman wid small palms.. it makes ur dick luk biggr   c. Life widout frnds is lik boobs widout nipples   d. Slogan on boys t-shirt: pls tel ur boobs nt 2 stare at my eyes   e. Fuck a girl n she’ll luv u. Luv a girl n she’ll fuck u   f. All those who proclaim dat dog is man’s best frnd, hve evidently not played wid a pussy..

2 men in a wedding function:  1st – Lo..!!  kuch din phle hi godi me kheli thi  or aaj iski shadi hai  .  2nd – Aap dulhan k baap ho..?  .  1st – Nahi; dulhan ka BOSS:p:D.

“VEENA MALIK” se ek Program me kisi ne pucha..
 Aap subah uth kar sab se pehle kya kaam karti hai.?
 VEENA-  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  Apne Ghar Jati Hu.

“Every Girl can be SEXY,  .  .  .  .  bas  .  .  .
 Dekhne wale ki nazar kamini honi chahiye …. “

‘Women’ are the best VEHICLES in the world :  - 2 beautiful headlights in front,  - 2 great bumpers at the back,   Self-lubricating when HOT,  - Finger touch ignition,  - Automatic engine oil change every month,  - All types of pistons fit,  - Multiple seating styles & adjustments,  - Great accessories,  - Highest mileage : 9 mnths in just 5 ml!  That’s why MEN r dying to get a ride!

..Girls Valentine Preparation List :  -Get hair done #:-s   -Get new make-up :*   -Get new dress   -Manicure/Pedicure ;;)
 Boys Valentine Day Preparation List:  -Buy Condoms..

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