Tuesday, December 4, 2018

double meaning sms for boyfriend funny jokes in english

double meaning sms for boyfriend funny jokes in english

Bite the Neck Gently Chew the Breast Softly Spread the Legs Slowly Tatse the Juice Excitingly That is how you have to enjoy a Chick . Tandoori Chicken

At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG. HOW DO U EAT URS?

A man was traveling in a train with 3 babies A woman inquired – Do these babies belong 2 u? Man: No, I work in a condom factory n these r customer’s complaints.

A stranger came at night, exposed my body, got on top of me, touched me, he bit, sucked, swallowed, when he was satisfied, he left I was hurt . . . Bloody… 
Mosquito !

A man had “I LOVE YOU” tattooed on his dick. He went home and proudly showed his wife. “There you go again, trying to put words into my mouth”, she said.

A couple had a fight one night Going to bed Husband says: Good night mother of my 3 kids. Wife Replied: Good night father of none.

A baby dog asks mama dog: How papa looks like. Mama dog said: “Your dad came from behind, I do not have the chance to see its face carefully!”

16 yrs (.)=(.)/ 25 yrs ( . )=( . )/ 36 yrs ( . )=( . )/ Understood?

Everytime misunderstanding. If you read too many SMS’s then you will have extra large spectacles.

You wanna come to my place for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don’t you like pizza?!

1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy, why are you doing that?” He said, “Because you came home early.”

Women always try to impress man by wearing beautiful dresses!
 Unfortunately   men r impressed only when they r removed..:>:

Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society; but always remember who laid them!

Y Cud Pamela nvr bcum a Teachr?  B’coz when She movd to Write on Board d Words got Rubbd widout a Duster.  Those who undrstud d msg 4wrd it, rest watch POGO!

Why is sex similar to shaving?Well, because no matter how well u do it today, tomorrow u hav to do it again

Why is sex similar to shaving?Well, because no matter how well u do it today, tomorrow u hav to do it again.

Why do we say ‘pyaar mei gir gaya’??
 ?  Bcoz if we say ‘pyaar mein khada ho gaya’ toh double meaning ho jaega na !:-D

Why did Shahid and Kareena break up?Because she wanted to have Saif Sex !

Whore: Come on finish it now.Girlfriend: Ah! Please slowly.Wife: Ceiling needs painting !

Why can’t anybody satisfy a Woman Completely?Because nobody has a Dick made of Gold, Decorated with Diamonds & which Ejaculates Cash!

Whenever you see a woman and an opportunity don’t screw the opportunity!

While preparing her RESUME a young Lady wrote:Special qualification: I am Flexible enough to Perform in all Positions.

When Everyone has left u &  No one is around u &  U r standing alone in a corner,  then remember it is the best time to  .   .  .  .  .  .Adjust yr Underwear!

What’s the height of bad luck?Having sex in dreams and getting AIDS in real life…!

What’s the similarity between women & folding chair?Both are useless unless until u don’t open their legs.

What’s the difference between a thin prostitute and a counterfeit note?One is a phony buck and the other is a boney fuck.

What is similarity between sex n shave?If u don’t do it for 4-5 days, it starts showing on d face.

What is the definition of a healthy virgin?One who has never been Bed RIDDEN !

What do politicians and porn stars have in common? They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.

We Lift Those Who r Going Down..  We Bring Them Closer Who are Going Apart..  We are neithr Politicians,Nor Social Workers  We Are

What do disny world and viagra have in common: they both make you wait an hour for a 2 miniute ride

Waqt nahi badalta, sirf SOCH badalti hai.
 For example…  .
 Bachpan mein  Darr lagta tha,
 Aur ab  GAAND FatTi hai…!

ways to make a woman happy: No. 1 is shopping & the rest is ’69′.

Waqt khta h mujhe gawa mat,  Dil kehta h mujhe laga mat,  Pyar kehta h mujhe ajma mat,  or aj kal ki girlfrnd kehti h,  “Daal Daal” Ghabra mat.

Viagra now available in powder to put in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from going soft.

Want to see URANUS planet without a telescope ?Ok, bend ur waist by 90 degrees, then bend ur knees 45 degrees. Hold a mirror between ur legs, now u can see UR-ANUS!

Uuseless things in a Man’s body: 20 Nails you can’t Hammer, 2 Tits you can’t Milk, 1 Cock that doesn’t Crow, and 2 Balls you can’t Throw !!

The saddest part of a Man’s body is his Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to : Hang Till Death !

The only similarity between Girl and SMS
 Jab tak UPER se NEECHE tak pura DEKH na lo CHAIN hi nahi Aata..!!

The Best & the sexiest msg ever;  A quote written on a Girl’s T Shirt
 …”No use of looking…  They won’t get bigger,  unless u work on them!!”;-)

The importance of UNITY explained at it’s best: What did one leg of a woman tell dthe other: UNITED we are saved, Divided we are Fucked.

Test ur IQ: Poisonous BRA: CoBraMathemetical BRA: AlgeBraStriped BRA: ZeBraStrongest BRA:VerteBraSun-sign BRA: LiBraAnd u thought u knew all abt BRA!

Teeth said to Tongue ?If I just press you little hard, you will get cut.  Tongue replied: ?If I misuse one word against someone, then all the 32 of you will be out at once

Tension is when wife is pregnant!Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant! Horror: When both r pregnant! Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!

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