Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Naughty sms for friend in english double meaning sms for boyfriend

Naughty sms for friend in english double meaning sms for boyfriend

Teacher: Jimmedari kya hoti hai ?Student: Madam agar apke blouse k 4 batton me se 3 tut jaye to 4th pe jo aati hai, usko jimmedari kehte hai.

Teacher asks Johnny about sounds  made by animals..  Teacher: Dog ?  Johnny : Barks  Teacher: Cat ?  Johnny : Meow  Teacher: Lion  Johnny: Screams  Teacher: I said, “Lion” not “Leone”…  Johnny: Ooo shit !!! :p:p ……

Stock broker catches wife in bed with other man: What’s going on?Wife: Due to boom in market & ur less investment capacity, honey I’ve gone for PUBLIC ISSUE!

Suhag raat ko:  Wife-mujhe ghabrahat ho rahi hai.  Husband-tumhari pahli raat hai na isliye?  Wife-nahi g raat ko pahli bar hai na isliye.

Son: Teacher says, ‘Father is the pillar of the family’ then what’s mom?Dad: She makes the pillar

st: We r in the best business in the world.2nd: How?1st: We have it, sell it, and we still have it.

Soldier’s wife sends a naked photo daily 2 her hsband wit both legs wide open-I’l WAIT LIKE DIS TIL U COME  Hsband:dat’s ok,bt who da hell is takin d fotos?;-)

Similarity between a dick & matchstick?Both have heads without brains, both flare up at slightiest friction, both fizzle out after showing valour for 2secs !!!

Sir: Tum bade ya tumhare Papa?Student: Main. Sir: Kaise? Student: Maine mummy ka Doodh peena chhod diya hai lekin PAPA abhi bhi peete hai.

Sher Farma raha hu  Wah Wah…
 Mangtaa hu to deti nai ho,
 Jawaab meri baat ka.
 Aur deti ho to khada ho jata hai,
 Rom-Rom jasbaat ka.
 Moooh me lena tumhe pasand nai,
 Ek bhi Katra sharab ka.
 Phir Kyo bolti ho k dheere se daalo,
 Baalon mein phool gulab ka…
 Wah Wah..

Sex n shopping have one thing in common: In both the cases, men start sweating in 15 minutes n women want to go on and on and on and on!

Sardar is back!!!!
 Sardar’s Wife looking at Honeymoon brochures said:  Let’s try Greece this year !
 Sardar asked:  Why?  what’s wrong with Vaseline ?

Sex is evilEvil is sin Sin is forgivenSo let’s begin.

Santa-  Suhagrat Kaisi Rahi?
 Banta-  Badhiya Rahi,  Waise ek baat bataoon  Wo Jis Tarah Ki Harkate Kar Rahi Thi, Mai Chaahta  To  Uski Le Sakta Tha..

sal ke Buddhe Ne Viagra kharidi aur medical wale se puchha ‘Kaise Leni hai?’Dukandar ne upar se niche tak dekha aur kaha: Tulsi Aur Gangajal ke Sath Lo.

Same Sex Marriage: What’s the big deal in same sex marriages? I’ve been married to the same woman for 25 years and had the same old sex all that time.

Russian: Sir we got a huge order from usa for 16 inches condoms. I think it is to embrass us.Boss: No problem! Complete the order and mark them SMALL SIZE.

Recently a London Newspaper has revealed why Lady Diana left Prince Charles. After marriage she found out that all rulers do not have twelve inches.

Relationships r of two types:  1 Senti types
 .  .
 Panty types…;)

Q: What’s the difference between a policeman’s knightstick and a magician’s wand?A: A Magician’s wand is for cunning stunts.

Q: What is common between a girl’s legs n Amul butter?Both are delicious when spread.

Q: What does a nymphomaniac chicken sound like?A: Fuck-fuck-fuck…… fuck-fuck-fuck.

Q: What did the sign s on the door the door of the Whorehouse say?A man raced into to the gents toilets in a pub, ran up to the urinal, whipped out his 12 inch dick & said with a sigh of relief: Phew, just made it!The man next to him, looked over & said: Pretty impressive, could you make me one too!Advice of a dentist: Treat your girl friend like a toothbrush. Dont let anybody else use it and get a new one every 3 months!Q: What is common between a girl’s legs n Amul butter?Both are delicious when spread.

porn stars have in common?They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera!

prostitute: I’ll pay double if u let me do it in Marwari style. She agrees.After sex, she asks: What’s Marwari style?Marwari payment after 90 days!

One spelling mistake can destroy your life. Husband sent a message to his wife: "I’m having a wonderful time, wish you were her".

One family had a bachelor guest in their house,  they let him sleep near daughter since they didn’t have any extra bedroom,  her mum told her: If he touches your breast shout tomato,  if he touches your legs shout carrot, if he touches your private part shout cabbage..  At night daughter shouted.. “SALAD! SALAD!!”

On a condom dispensing machine,
 it was written “Very Safe – Strictly made as per High British standards”.
 Someone added below- ” So was the Titanic, but it leaked.”

On a NUDE beach a man shakes hand with a lady & says: Pleased to meet U!Lady: Yeah, I can SEE that.

Newly Married woman returns from Honeymoon.  Her friends:-”kahan-kahan ghum aai?”  She:-”Delhi, Agra, Jammu and Manali.”  Her friends:-”Hmm… kya kya dekha?”  She:-”bajaj, orpat, anchor, orient PSPO ke ceiling fans” -  …  ..  .  Jisko samajh mai aya wo aage forward kare, baaki cartoon network dekho 

Newtons SUSU law:  No matter how much u  press it  shake it  rotate it  slap it  strangle it  and pull it.  the last drop of  urine will always fall in ur

Mr Chu from China & Mr Tiya from Korea came to India & setup a Firm. Till now, they have no Business & are still wondering why their firm: CHUTIYA & CO. failed?

MBBS Final Exams, Question paper: Fill in the blanks. If a lady faints, we must 1st check her pu_ s _ . Only few students like me who wrote: Pulse Passed.

Mother found a condom in daughter’s cupboard. She went straight to her n asked: What is this?Girl: To aap kya chahti hain, main is umar mein Maa ban jaaun?!

Man offers a drink to a woman at a party.  Woman: No thanks, whisky is bad for my legs.  Man:legs? Thats strange, do they pain or swell?  Woman: No, they spread.

Madam ne blouse me gulab lagaya hua tha  Mam-batao gulab ko poshan kisse milta h?  Sabne kha dudh se Mam-nhi pani se  Ladka-mam hme kya pata dandi kha tk gai hai.

Man in bed with wife?  sliding his hand slowly across her back,shoulders, jst brushing her, legs, spreads her legs apart & runs his hand everywhere moves back towards top & stops.  Wife gasps..”WhY Did u StoP..hmmm?”  Man-Remote Milgaya! Tum So jao?  Enjoy World Cup 2011.

Little girl climbs a tree.
 Man sees, calls her down & gave her Rs. 100 to buy an Underwear.
 Girl tells Mom. Mom climbs next day.
 Man calls her down & gave Rs. 5 to Buy a RAZOR.

Luv is not measured by Hugging, Kissing & sex. It’s all about Trusting Respecting & Accepting a person with open legs, closed eyes & wet lips saying Push it more.

Life is all about Ass; We are either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or behaving like one!

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