Tuesday, January 1, 2019

spicy jokes in english double meaning non veg sms in english

spicy jokes in english double meaning non veg sms in english

If necessit’y is the mother of invention, then.. Frustration is the father of masturbation!

However tiring the times may be;
 Whatever situations life puts them through.
 Strong men never look down;
 Unless it’s a woman’s cleavage.

Husband Suhag raat pe- Tum ne kabhi Blue Film Dekhi Hai?  Wife- Haa 1 Bar.  Husbnd- Hum wahi Karenge.  Wife- Wo Thik Hai, Par Baaki 2 Ladke Tum Laoge Ya Me bulalu..?

How long is it before I can resume my normal Sex Life?Doctor (shocked): You are the first one to ask me that after a tonsil-operation!

How do you define a virgin?On the Verge but not in!

Height of being Realistic: An actress being fucked by a producer widout using a condom saying that she has 2 play the role of a Pregnant lady in his next film!

Guys think larger a woman’s breasts, less intelligent she is. But the fact is that larger a woman’s breasts, less intelligent the Men become!

Gynecologist: Dr Jones at your cervix.Septic tank truck: Yesterday’s meals on wheels. Plumber’s office: Wwe repair what ur husband fixed.Tire shop: Invite us to ur next blowout.Electrical shop: Let us remove ur shorts.Maternity room: Push, Push, Push.

Give an example of Complete business failure due to negligence.A pregnant prostitute.

Girl: Tumne mujh mein aisa kya dekha jo tumhe mujhse pyar ho gaya?Boy: Darling! Abhi kuchh dekha kahan hai? Dekne ke liye hi toh pyar kiya hai!

Girl: “Hey What’s Up?”
 Boy: “If I Tell You, Then Will You Sit On It?“

Girl to another: Kal sapne me mujhe koi chakku se mar raha tha.2nd Girl: Tu dar mat agar sapne sach hote to mujhe roj ABBORTION karana padta…

Gabbar: Are o Samba kitni goliyan hai?Gabbar: Admi 3 aur goliyan 6.. bahut nainsafi hai.Samba: Kahe ki nainsafi sardar 3 admiyon ki 6 goli Hi to hoti hai!

Girl saw an aquarium and asked:Y are fishes so beautiful?  Boy was drinking SPRITE & said: Because they don’t wear clothes.

 SPRITE:”Seedhi baat no BAKWAS”

Failure is not when ur girlfriend leaves you… It’s only when u leave her a virgin!

First Doc: I had sex with my patient. I’m feeling guiltySecond Doc: It happens in our profession. Take it easy yaar.First Doc: Yeah, but I’m a Veterinary doctor.

Fact of life: When a girl attains maturity, she wants to wear a bra… When a boy attains maturity, he wants to remove that bra…..

Exam hall is the only place where u can say to an unknown girl:
 1. Kuch to dikha de yar, chal figure hee dikha de.
 2. Hath hata, kuch dikh nahi raha.Aise mai kaise karunga?
 3. Thoda sa reh gaya niche ka bas 10 min.
 4. Dede yaar,warna mai to mar jaunga.
 5. Ek baar aur khol de, mai fatafat kar lunga is baar.

Excellent 1 liner quote-
 “He who hesitates,  Later masturbates”

Ek PATHAN U.S.A. se aapni AMMI ko phone karta hai…
 PATHAN: AMMI Jaan mujhe AIDs ho gaya hai
 AMMI: Tu wapas mat aana BETA.
 AMMI: agar tu aaya to Teri BIWI ko AIDs hoga,
 Teri BIWI se tere BHAI ko
 Tere BHAI se NOKRANI ko,
 NOKRANI se tere ABBA ko,
 Tere ABBA se teri MAUSI ko,
 Teri MAUSI se tere MOUSA ko,
 Tere MOUSA se Mujhe
 Aur Agar Mujhe ho gaya to saare GAON ko ho jayega!
 Tujhe ALLAH ka vasta saare GAON ko bachale BETA…!!

Ek ladki Jab Sare Kapde Utaar Leti Hai  To Kya Hota Hai ???? ?????????

 Are Rassi Khali Ho Jati Hai. .  Kabhi To Seedha Socha Karo.!

Ek Ladki ka Mangetar mar Gaya.  Ladki Rote Huye Boli – Abhi to kuch Dekha bhi Nahi Tha.  .  .
 Santa Ne hausla Diya- Abhi Thodi Der me Nehlayenge tab Dekh Lena..!!

Ek kamaal dekhoge?  Sirf ek ‘U’ lagao aur ban jao tum
 Dekha everything is incomplete without U.

During war, enemy soldier sees 3 nuns. He says I want revenge & remoevd his pants. Young nun requested Plz spare older Nun.Older nun: Shut up u Bitch, War is War.

Don’t you hate when you open a bag of chips and it’s 30% full?
 That’s how guys feel about a push-up bra.

Difference between panties of 1970 & 2010.
 1970: U have to pull down the panty to see d bums.
 2010: U have to separate the bums to see the panty :p

Doctors have discovered that most single women can’t fart. Apparently, they don’t have an asshole until they get married to one.

Did u know that It takes 7 seconds for food to pass frm mouth to stomach..
 A human hair can hold 3 kg of weight..
 The depth of VAGINA is twice the length of ur Middle finger..
 A woman’s heart beats faster than man’s..
 Women blink twice as much as a man.
 I know u r still looking at ur middle finger:)

Define Rape with the help of one good example?Rape is a very-very difficult Job, For eg. It is like playing GOLF with a continuously moving HOLE!

Daaru ki khushbu, Gutke ki mithas, Gaanje ki roti or Charas ka saag, Bhaang k pakode aur Wills ka pyar mubarak ho apko NASHEDIYO ka tyohar  Bura na mano HOLI hai

Define contraceptive pill?It’s the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to avoid pregnancy.

Class room me sir ki pant ki zip khuli dekh kr  LARKIYAN  zor se hsne lagen
 Sir ko pta nhi tha  sir boly:  “Zyada hee hee ki to bahr nikal k khara kr doon ga….

Can we do romance in the night today… i am in a good mood today, just a little bit of kissing if yes reply soon. yours lovingly mosquito.  hehe. Wat say?

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